Sing, Sing, Sing About It

I thought I'd seen everything there was to see in Ohio.  A lack of inspiration leads to a lack of blog posts, hence the long period of time since my last bit of writing on my time here in this great state.

Tonight proved me wrong though.  Not too far from the small town of Wakeman where I've been staying is another little town called Vermilion.  It's old fashioned, quaint, and nestled in at the southern edge of Lake Eyrie.  Every third Thursday of the month they have a festival of sorts down on Main St. where a bunch of people come out and play all sorts of music.  One of the guys I work with and his wife invited me to join them this evening and so the three of us walked up and down the street, stopping here and there to listen to someone singing a slightly out-of-key version of Bare Naked Ladies "Old Apartment or a pretty good cover of a Nickleback song (see what I did there?). 

The setting was everything you could hope that a small town main street would be: The ice-cream parlors, a soda fountain, family-owned pizza joints, and even a private insurance company with a front window filled with beautiful models of old frigates.  On top of all that, the music was priceless.

As I drove around the crowded streets trying to find a place to park, I heard one guy singing some Johnny Cash and another older, decently overweight man singing along Karaoke style to "Man of Constant Sorrow."  Needless to say, I knew I was in the right place.

When I finally met up with my friends and we made our way through this farmer's market of music, I had only begun to realize how awesome this whole thing was.  We passed the Karaoke spot again only this time there was a girl proudly singing "Adam's Song" in a way that made me think it was not so much a cry for help but rather a middle finger to those passersby who, like her parents no doubt, don't understand her.  *sigh* teenage angst. 

Even better was the band of old ladies with electric guitars semi-rocking out to Christian worship songs. 

The winner by far however was the guy singing "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera.  He drew the biggest crowd out of any of the performers this evening and I'm pretty sure it was the iconic phantom mask and the black hat and cape he wore over a baby blue Underarmor t-shirt and khaki shorts that did it.  Actually he was pretty good and his style only added to the atmosphere. 

I'm pretty excited about this whole thing.  Not only was a it a lot of fun to just go for a stroll and hear all sorts of great music, but I also discovered an area of Vermilion that I didn't know existed.  Definitely some cools places to hang out that I will be returning to.

I was only there for about an hour but it was enough to get me looking forward to next month when the good people of Vermilion will do it all over again. 

Stay on Target

I've been getting lazy.  Mass Effect 3 has been in control of my life for the last few weeks and as a side effect I have not written as much in this blog as I intended to.  So, no more laziness.  Back to Wakeman.

That's the question isn't it?  Or rather, will I be going back to Wakeman?  In a couple weeks I'll be on a plane or two and headed to California for both Chad and Josh's graduations.  When I first decided to to come out here, as I'm sure I've already told you, my intentions were to only stay until the end of May.  But just like it's old self, life has gone crazy and presented even more possible choices.

If you haven't heard of Mass Effect 3 then here, let me Google that for you.  The name of the Mass Effect series is choice - shaping the world (or galaxy) around you by making tough decisions, regretting past mistakes, and constantly wondering "what if?"  Having invested a lot of time into these games my awareness of how each and every choice we make affects our lives as heightened to say the least.  The choice before me is to stay or go. 

There a pros and cons on either side.  One very persuasive argument for staying is the possibility to make a lot of money.  GREEEED!!  Just kidding.  But seriously, the opportunity to make a nice chunk of change is there.  All I have to do to get it, is stay for another 3 to 6 months. 

Wait, what?  Wow.

Ya, that's a long time.  Much longer than I had intended on staying. 

So let's lay this out-
I want to make movies, but there's not much chance of that happening here in Ohio.  There is however an opportunity to really get a jump on my student loans that I would not have otherwise.

I'll be honest, when I presented this predicament to friends and family, I was expecting to hear two different views.
1. You need the money.  Stay in Ohio and give yourself a chance to hack away at that dragon of a student debt (The Dragon's name is Sallie Mae in case you were wondering).
2.  Follow your dreams!  Don't do it for the money.  Get out there and give it the good ol' college try!

Sadly, I have not yet heard anyone make the second argument.  I find this strange since I was raised with that outlook.  "You can do whatever you want in life!" "Never give up on your dreams!" "Don't settle for anything!"

I'll be honest with you, staying for 3-6 months feels a lot like settling for something other than what I've been striving for.  Then again, I think the biggest concern I have (I worry like crazy about this) is what will happen if I stay here?  Will I even be able to find a way back into the film industry?  Will all the contacts I've made over the last year even remember my name?   I've got nothing against staying here and doing construction work.  It's hard, honest work and the guys I work with are good people.  But I just can't seem to shake the feeling that this decision is a big one, one that will really effect things down the road.

So let's get to the point.  I'm not gonna worry about what might happen, like this guy.

I'm gonna stay on target.

Not necessarily on my career as a filmmaker but on what God has for me right now.

Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own.  And with as much as I worry about my future as a filmmaker, hearing those words and believing that God knows what He's doing is huge relief, whether I'm here in Ohio for another 6 months or another year.  Although I am honestly very hesitant to trust for fear that His plans might not have me making movies like I want, trusting that He'll be good to me wherever I end up definitely takes the edge off tough decisions like the one I'm making.

So finally, after all that, here's what I've decided.

If the job happens (the big one that pays lots of money) then I will be staying.  If the job does not happen, then I will be going back to California.

With that I leave you with this.

BTWs
I'd love to hear your thoughts on all this so feel free to comment here, Facebook, or Twitter.

Feeling Thirsty

I'm back in Ohio after a brief yet wonderful visit to California for the memorial service and as of now I'm not sure what the plan is.  Still looking to God for that. 

In the meantime, I quickly cut together a few clips I shot on my iPhone at a line dancing bar called The Thirsty Cowboy (not to be confused with The Thirsty Pony - a family restaurant/indoor water park/laser tag arena/etc.).  I went there with my cousins and a few friends when Cody and I first got here.  While we didn't really dance much (ok not at all), this guy in the video did enough dancing (and maybe more) to make up for it. 

Enjoy.

Back

It's been a few weeks since I've posted anything here, largely due to my aunt's passing and the aftermath.  Overall my family is doing well.  There have been two services to honor her memory, one in Ohio and another in California, and I've been fortunate to have been able to attend both.  They were a mixture of emotions, most of which I have yet to figure out. 

I wasn't sure how to come back to this blog.  Despite everything, I'm doing quite well.  There is this strange sense that my being happy is somehow wrong.  I should be mourning.  I should be sad.  And I am.  But I'm also able to laugh and enjoy life just as much as before.  This being the first death of someone close to me that I have experienced, I'm not sure how to deal with the feelings of guilt that are brought upon by those moments when I'm not dwelling on her death, but enjoying the present.

I can't really put it into words.  Maybe I'll figure that out at some point and post those words here.

However, I wanted to keep this blog going.  So much of what this blog is was shaped around me being here and spending time with my Aunt.  Now that she is gone, I feel that it will take on a new form while keeping the same purpose.  I guess what I mean to say is that I'm going to keep writing but it won't all be about how I'm dealing with my aunt's passing.  Some of it will, but most of it will just continue to reveal more about my time here in Ohio.

Shortly After Midnight

My Aunt Robyn passed away this morning.

We're going to miss her greatly but are glad that she is no longer in pain.  Most importantly, we consider it a true blessing and honor for her that God waited to take her on the same day that He conquered death.

She ran the race well and we all look forward to seeing her again soon.

Yesterday was filled with many special moments between family that I will never forget and bring me to tears just thinking about.  We all appreciate your prayers more than anything.  God has really looked out for our family throughout these past few months and we are all giving Him glory for His sovereignty even as we begin to mourn and remember Robyn.

He is risen!  And she is risen with Him.

Dino DNA!

My uncle's construction company has been doing a lot of work for a pretty famous theme park out here.  This year said theme park (remaining nameless at the moment) has a new attraction.  DINOSAURS! REAL ONES!

Actually they're not real but they're huge and pretty cool.  I tried taking some video to post here on the blog but I got a stern talking to when the head landscaper saw what I was doing.  (He took my name and everything!) 


So unfortunately I can't put the video up here but I will make sure to take my camera with me when the park opens in May.  It'll look much better then anyways.



because I got a stern talking to after I tried to take some video)

A Nice Little Moment

I snapped this pic of my aunt and my grandma the other day while they were visiting with friends.

A Bit of Cynicism (And a Song!)

After being in and out of the hospital my Aunt Robyn is finally back home for what will hopefully be a while.  I say that because my hope is that she will get better without the need to go back to the hospital, but who knows. 

Right now she is in hospice care.  The ladies that take care of her are at the house 24/7 and their main goal is to make her comfortable.  The doctors are telling us there is nothing they can do for her.  So in light of that bit of information (I for one think they're full of crap), hospice is the next best thing.

It's hard to tell if she is getting better or not.  She is always in a sort of half-asleep state and doesn't quite know what's going on; most likely due to the pain she is in and the pain meds she takes for it. 

My uncle has her taking some natural supplements which at this point is better than nothing.  It's hard to tell if they are working at all since she hasn't been on them long.  I guess we'll see as time goes on.  When my mom had cancer she also used natural means to help regain her strength from the chemotherapy and radiation treatments.  Even still, I'm been a skeptic when it comes to lotions, potions, and thigh creams that are supposed to "do it all."  The stuff my aunt is taking is from Alaska (these kinda things always seem to come from some backwoods hermit) and have a very recovering rate for people fighting cancer.  It all sounds good but you'll have to forgive me for being hesitant about jumping on board.  It's not like the supplements will have any negative effects, but they're called elixirs for a reason.  At the end of the day though, my uncle is sold on them and he believes that if God is going to heal her, this is how He's gonna do it.

I've pretty much settled in up here in Ohio.  Things that bothered me at first don't have much sway anymore.  I'm looking forward to coming home and have been missing my friends, my church, and just L.A. in general, but I'm comfortable at the moment and writing more than I have in a while which is cool.  Anyway, I'll wrap things up with a song I've been listening to a lot lately.  It's taken a year of owning this album and not really listening to it then rediscovering it by accident to finally make a connection.  I love when that happens.  It's about as hipster as I get.

Chambers in the Loop

My life up until now has been a series of moments, objectives rather.  As time goes on, it is not left without a new goal to reach or problem to solve.  Occasionally however, there are times when there are no goals to achieve or battles to win.  For some reason this part of my life that I am spending in Ohio feels like that.

That's not to say that everything is fine and dandy.  There are still day to day struggles and difficulties.  It's more like I've found myself in a time loop, and like the kids at Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (a really good book I read a couple months ago) the days all seem to melt together and my ability to tell the difference between them lessons the longer I am here.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, just something I'm not used to.

Coming from a lifestyle of searching for spur-of-the-moment change, it is somewhat shocking to suddenly have a schedule that remains firmly set; unmoving, and for the most part, unyielding.  Aside from what I do with those precious moments that my schedule allows me to dictate, each day is relatively the same.  Joy is found in the small and seemingly insignificant differences instead of in life-altering change.

I am constantly thinking of how my relationship with God will grow here.  In the past, how close I was to God was determined by how large the current obstacle was that I was facing, or how much I desperately needed something, or how lonely I was left by a broken relationship with a girl, friend, or family member.  Now however, as I sit in my Aunt and Uncle's dining room, the problems I had in California seem distant and fading.  They're still there and they will most definitely remind me of their presence when I return, but right now, my only concerns (regarding myself) are to make sure I get to work on time and take care of daily things that need to be done.  Sure money is still an issue, but now that I'm getting a regular paycheck, paying bills is just another thing to do.  Still a burden, but one that's not quite as heavy as it used to be. 

So again I consider: How will I grow when life doesn't change, when I'm not constantly worried about something (having a job, paying bills, where money will come from, if it will come at all), when there are no hurdles to jump over, when my present needs are met?  I was reading My Utmost for His Highest this morning and in the passage set aside for today, Oswald Chambers writes--

Sometimes there is nothing to obey 

and our only task is to maintain a vital connection with Jesus Christ, 

seeing that nothing interferes with it.

Fitting, isn't it?  For some reason, now that I've written it out, I don't have much more to say about it except this: There will always be dilemmas to overcome (my Aunt's sickness, planning for the inevitable future, etc.), but instead of constantly searching for some grand obstacle to tackle or pleading to know "God's will" so you can somehow attempt to follow along with it, maybe those times of friendship with Jesus should be spent connecting.  Maybe we need a break from our ongoing quest to move mountains, if only so we remember who we are moving those mountains for in the first place.

Golden Hour

This is the street that my Aunt and Uncle live on.

Pardon the odd green lens flare. 

 

 

 

My Aunt

One of the reasons I'm here in Ohio is my Aunt Robyn.  She was a diagnosed with Cancer a while back but recently other ailments have developed.  She was in the Hospital for about a month with pneumonia and pancreatitis.  While she was able to overcome the pneumonia through the hospital's care, the pancreatitis has only gotten worse.  For the most part she just needs prayer.  There isn't a lot we can do other than hope that the doctors can help her through this and rely on God for support throughout.

As you're thinking of my Aunt, you might also send out a prayer for my Uncle John.  While I'm really only just now getting to know him well, it is easy to see that everything is wearing on him both physically and emotionally.  He has a lot on his mind from making sure Robin always has someone there for to running a construction company that is only getting busier and busier.

All your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated.  

Eat Fresh...Anywhere.

Now that I've been here for a few weeks I've gotten a good feel for the place.  As I've said before, Ohio is very different from California: the weather, the landscape, etc.  But there are a lot of quirky reasons why Ohio stands out.  Here's just a few.

Unlike the gridlocked freeways and standstill thoroughfares of Los Angeles, Ohio has little to no traffic anywhere.  Most of the freeways that I have seen have only two lanes and there is usually a good 500 ft. between each car.  So as you can image, the traffic laws here are a little more relaxed.  For starters, you don't have to wear a seat belt if you're sitting in the back.  Usually that would mean death by flying through the windshield for the pour soul in the middle seat but here in Ohio, there are many cars to hit.  There are however a lot of deer and they get hit all the time.  My cousin has already hit 6.  Apparently the whole "deer in the headlights" thing is true and in Ohio it's illegal swerve out of the way.  So the deer is pretty much screwed either way. 

In California we have a lot of Starbucks. So many in fact, you can find one on almost every corner.  I have yet to see a Starbucks here, but where Ohio lacks in coffee shops they make up in an overabundance of Subway sandwich shops.  They're everywhere!  Every gas station has one inside.  They have stand alone stores in almost every shopping center.  It's ridiculous.

Lastly, if there is one thing that the people here love more than Subway it's water slides.  I'm surprised we don't have more of in California but Ohio more than makes up for it in Indoor water parks.  There are two big ones near Ceder Point.  Both of them are fancy hotels with all kinds of indoor water fun.  There's even a restaurant down the street called the Thirsty Pony that has three water slides.  It's like putting water slides at Outback Steakhouse.

Hopefully this gives you an idea of what life here is like.  So if you're ever in the area you should never have a problem finding a sandwich or a water slide or a deer to hit with your car.

Aunt Robyn Comes Home

My Aunt Robyn is back home from a long stay at the hospital as of yesterday.  It will be a little while before she is really back on her feet but I know that she is glad to be home as are the rest of us.  I'll keep you up to date with how she is doing as time goes by.  She is still battling the cancer that has remained present throughout all of this and could definitely use your prayers.  We all appreciate them very much.

In the Trench

All those years in the sandbox as a kid paid off today.  Over the past couple days Cody and I have been digging a decent-sized trench at Cedar Point.  Something we learned very quickly while working together decorating houses and hotels for Christmas this last season was that whenever we're together we get pretty goofy.  It reminds me a lot of when we used to share a room as kids. 

It's been a long time since we've gotten to spend much time together.  In high school I kind of just did my own thing and then I was off to college.  It was wasn't until the end of last summer when Cody moved out to LA and stayed with me that we really started hanging out again, and in all honesty it has been a huge blessing.  My life has been all over the place since graduation with my never-ending search for work and trying to find ways to makes ends meet with student loans.  Having Cody around has made things a lot easier to deal with.  I've often felt bad about being so distant over the last few years, but spending pretty much everyday with him has been so refreshing.

When we were kids (around 5 or 6 for me, 3 or 4 for Cody) my mom used to make us take naps.  Without fail, Cody and I would fake being asleep only to jump out of bed and grab these Cabbage Patch dolls we had (Don't ask me why we had Cabbage Patch dolls.  To this day I have no idea).  I don't know how they make them now but back then they were just lightly stuff dolls with huge (and heavy) plastic heads.  We didn't really care much for playing with dolls (our neighbor used to babysit us and her daughter would force us to play Barbies.  It was awful) so we'd just use their huge heads as baseballs and throw them back and forth as we jumped on our beds.  Pretty soon however one of us would drop the ball (or in this case the Cabbage Patch doll) and their huge heads would slam against the wall with a loud thud!  Immediately we would drop into our beds and pretend to be asleep again.  My mom would crack open the door, peak in to see us "sleeping," and then quietly go back out, none the wiser (so we thought anyways).  We would keep this up until eventually we got so tired we would fall asleep.  This was probably my mom's plan all along.

Needless to say it's been great having him around and even better living out here in Ohio with him.  Ohio is a very different place than I'm used to and in this strange period of life that I find myself in it's really been some kind of awesome that God has been so good to place my brother right here beside me along the way.

View from the front porch

O...hi, O. See what I did there?

I’ve been out of state for almost a week now and the difference between what life was like in California only days ago and what it is like here in Wakeman, Ohio is significant.

Since arriving I have already begun working for my uncle’s construction company. At the moment we are repairing and remodeling parts of Cedar Point, an amusement park located at the tip of a small peninsula in Lake Erie. The bigger jobs include pouring cement foundations for a brand new dinosaur exhibit, remodeling several building interiors to make them handicap accessible, and installing a new 7 ton dry cleaning machine inside the park’s large laundry facility. It’s hard but rewarding work most of the time and is only a sample of what I’ll be up to for the next couple months.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a job with fixed hours. My brother and I leave for work at 6:30 every morning and head back home at 3 every afternoon. The stability is hard to get used to after years of working random hours with no set end time. It does have its advantages though, like being able to plan my days.

At the moment we are without a vehicle so this first week has mainly consisted of work, home, and visits to the hospital to see my aunt.

My aunt has been very sick for a little while now but she seems to be in good spirits, always thinking of others before herself even though it is her that is truly in need. It’s hard to see her in so much pain but comforting to know that she has complete faith that God is working in some way or another.

I’m sharing a room with my brother Cody again. We have been sleeping on a king size waterbed, so that’s been fun. And by fun I mean pretty ridiculous. Neither of us have ever had a waterbed so we just keep rolling all over the place trying to figure out how to best fall asleep.

So far the decision to come out here has been turning out to be a good one. I’m enjoying the time spent with family and it will be nice having a consistent job that actually pays even though it’s a bit out of my field. It has definitely been a interesting change of pace so far and I’m looking forward to sharing more about it as we really settle in.