Chambers in the Loop

My life up until now has been a series of moments, objectives rather.  As time goes on, it is not left without a new goal to reach or problem to solve.  Occasionally however, there are times when there are no goals to achieve or battles to win.  For some reason this part of my life that I am spending in Ohio feels like that.

That's not to say that everything is fine and dandy.  There are still day to day struggles and difficulties.  It's more like I've found myself in a time loop, and like the kids at Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (a really good book I read a couple months ago) the days all seem to melt together and my ability to tell the difference between them lessons the longer I am here.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, just something I'm not used to.

Coming from a lifestyle of searching for spur-of-the-moment change, it is somewhat shocking to suddenly have a schedule that remains firmly set; unmoving, and for the most part, unyielding.  Aside from what I do with those precious moments that my schedule allows me to dictate, each day is relatively the same.  Joy is found in the small and seemingly insignificant differences instead of in life-altering change.

I am constantly thinking of how my relationship with God will grow here.  In the past, how close I was to God was determined by how large the current obstacle was that I was facing, or how much I desperately needed something, or how lonely I was left by a broken relationship with a girl, friend, or family member.  Now however, as I sit in my Aunt and Uncle's dining room, the problems I had in California seem distant and fading.  They're still there and they will most definitely remind me of their presence when I return, but right now, my only concerns (regarding myself) are to make sure I get to work on time and take care of daily things that need to be done.  Sure money is still an issue, but now that I'm getting a regular paycheck, paying bills is just another thing to do.  Still a burden, but one that's not quite as heavy as it used to be. 

So again I consider: How will I grow when life doesn't change, when I'm not constantly worried about something (having a job, paying bills, where money will come from, if it will come at all), when there are no hurdles to jump over, when my present needs are met?  I was reading My Utmost for His Highest this morning and in the passage set aside for today, Oswald Chambers writes--

Sometimes there is nothing to obey 

and our only task is to maintain a vital connection with Jesus Christ, 

seeing that nothing interferes with it.

Fitting, isn't it?  For some reason, now that I've written it out, I don't have much more to say about it except this: There will always be dilemmas to overcome (my Aunt's sickness, planning for the inevitable future, etc.), but instead of constantly searching for some grand obstacle to tackle or pleading to know "God's will" so you can somehow attempt to follow along with it, maybe those times of friendship with Jesus should be spent connecting.  Maybe we need a break from our ongoing quest to move mountains, if only so we remember who we are moving those mountains for in the first place.